January ends with me recalling an article I read this week. The article states when we write instead of type our minds become more active, creative and various other beneficial aspects. It makes me wonder if I should stick to writing out my thoughts to achieve the same sense of enlightment that people use to get. Maybe thats why movies and stories were more creative in the past, the easier something gets to do, the less we benefit from it. However, I am as lazy does, thanks to all the work I’ve been receiving. Its reminiscent of my summer time, and I’m tired of it. When I get back from Vancouver, I’m requesting 2 days off a week. This will set me back over $500 a month, but if I can’t spend it, learn to save what I have or find activities that don’t involve money then I’m becoming a product of the past.
My mentality should not be why I need, but why I even thought I would need it. Once I conquer this and the need to spend then I can truly liberate myself from attachments to the physical and the unnatural. I believe my jealousy, anger and many other negative emotional aspects emerged from my desire to own goods, keep it for myself, and only myself. If I can forgo these things then maybe I can find a good woman, no, maybe I can learn to find a woman. The way my brain is working these days, makes me not want to pursue anything but one or two goals. My decision making has been more stunned than ever before, and age is starting to become a factor in certain decisions.